4 Ways to Destroy Your Relationship, According To Gottman

John Gottman, and the Gottman Institute, has researched relationships for over 40 years. He found that not all negatives are alike. Four of them stood out as being the most destructive and biggest predictors of divorce and separation. Gottman dubbed these, The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. They are Criticism, Defensiveness, Contempt and Stonewalling. While most relationships will have some of these, healthy relationships don’t use them nearly as often and do more to repair them when they are used. If you are noticing any of the these styles of communicating increasing in your discussions, act now to learn safer and more effective ways to talk about your differences. At Couple Forward we utilize Gottman therapy, which offers several structured exercises  to help couples assert themselves with one another in effective ways that don’t include the Four Horsemen. We’ll also work on your friendship and building your connection with one another when you aren’t fighting. The fact is, couples are better at repairing their negative arguments when they basically feel close and connected, and are good friends.